The MCC Campus Police Report
Provided By Captain Werefless

In case of an actual emergency or crime, please don’t call us. Call the MPD.

2:20 PM – Officers answer a telephone call from a student claiming his tape recorder had been stolen. Officers notify student to report the loss to the campus lost and found. Case closed.

2:40 PM – Officers answer a telephone call from campus lost and found reporting a verbally abusive student. Lost and found staff claim not to be responsible for stolen items. Student notified to report his loss to Middle Town Police Department. Case closed.

4:05 PM – Officers respond to another officer’s call to investigate rude comments on the lawn. Officers discover a tape recorder behind bush playing a recording of rude comments. Officers deliver recorder to lost and found. Case closed.

1:35 AM - Officers responded to a complaint of loud, disturbing screaming. Officers requested school choir to keep noise levels at a minimum while practicing the new MCC fight song. Case closed.